I promised myself. No wait, I swore to myself.
To never be like her. She, who I despised and loved at the same time. She, who I looked to for strength, and who I blamed for everything that failed.
I swore never to make the same mistakes. Never to go as weak as she went. Never to compromise on my courage, or my dreams. To fight for what I believed in. and to always, ALWAYS, keep my pain to myself and to smile, no matter what may come.
But slowly, I became her. I despised myself. Despised her too. Blamed her for turning me into her. But it was too late. I was her now.
Not only her ghost, but her shadow.I became everything she ever was, and more.
But now, in her shoes, I understand. I empathise. All the dreams I thought she compromised, were not sacrifices, but a way for greater things to be, namely me and him. All the times I thought she was weak, she stood at her strongest. And all the times she broke down, was in exasperation, but she never gave up.
Now, I understand.
Now, I know.
That she is someone to be proud of. And to be her, an honour.
So now, I look in the mirror, and smile, proudly.
I am proud to be your shadow.
I love you, ma.
